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Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis-Ada Calhoun

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Ebook About
When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too?Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and the Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation raised to “have it all,” Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under-employed, and overwhelmed. Instead of their issues being heard, they were told instead to lean in, take “me-time,” or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order.In Why We Can’t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X’s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss—and keep the next generation of women from falling in. The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential reading for all middle-aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.

Book Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis Review :



I picked up this book thinking it would just be some sort of self-helpy thing, but I was absolutely wrong. It's a book of solid statistics and "stories from the field" about the women of Generation X (those born between 1965 and 1980) and why some of us feel burned out, fatigued, and restless. "Why We Can't Sleep" is about this sense of malaise so many of us are feeling- what caused it, why we experience it, and how women are dealing with it.The book covers everything from psychology to neuroscience, health care to parenting, the economy to marriage. Not just in our current moment, but in the span of years that Generation X have been alive and the impact that growing up in unstable socio-economic times can have on an entire generation of women, even if we believe we weren't individually impacted by many of the events that happened in our lifetimes.The reason why this book hit so close to home is because around six years ago, I started feeling a deep unease that I couldn't put my finger on. There are definitely factors within my immediate circumstances that I could see had an impact on me, but it felt like something much deeper was going on way outside my control and maybe even my comprehension, and to be honest, it's really spooked the heck out of me.What I got from reading this book is that this "unease" is a universal feeling for many of us in this age bracket and it's the culmination of many of the circumstances of which we grew up and navigated as children and adults. These "circumstances" were sort pf put into motion by the Baby Boomers (the generation ahead of us) and are now being sort of dismantled by the Millennials (the generation after us) but the Xers were the ones to actually experience everything first hand and try to make some tricky choices on which way to navigate some of these unusual circumstances that didn't have any precedent in history.The author doesn't shy away from saying, outright, that these circumstances and choices can definitely be what many consider "first world problems" but in reality, if you crunch the data- all the economic and political instability of both our youth and recent times, the rise and explosion of the internet in our lifetime (we went from having 12 channel TVs with antenna and tube screens to internet being beamed into handheld flat screens we CARRY with us without wires!) and the changes in society that have been influenced by that- it's actually a really tricky thing to wrap your brain around.This book was exactly what I needed. It explained to me, in details and statistics, and through the stories of many other women from all walks of life and all sorts of situations, why I feel the way I do. And why I should have some hope for the future because I'm not alone.
Honestly, all this woman does is whine - I am halfway through the audiobook, can she hasn't yet offered a single solution. One example of the maladies impacting middle-aged women? Picking out the sink for the rental house. If one of your big stressors is the managemnet of your second home, you seriously need to re-think your priorities. Get a real job, put on your big girl panties, and grow up. I was born in the early 80s and border right between Gen X and Millenials and let me tell you, if you think Gen X is going to have nothing in later adulthood, millenials will likely have much less. So you were raised with expectations? So what - you aren't a victim. Get over yourself. The only reason I'm still listening is the hope that since it was on NPR there must be some redemptive insight at the end. So far it's a bunch of statistics about how bad off you are. Guess what - Gen X created the housing crisis with their greed to live beyond their means and have more than they could afford to fit into a social status they aren't part of. Don't whine about it now. Your kids dont NEED to be on a waiting list for an exclusive school, you dont NEED to live in the most expensive cities in the world, and you didn't NEED to have kids or a husband in the first place. Own your decisions and grow up.

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